


Breathe For Me

by ScientistInOrbit



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-03-13 00:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3361736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScientistInOrbit/pseuds/ScientistInOrbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Medical advice wasn't always the reason why Harry visited the doctor working with them, but sometimes people only realize important things about themselves when it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rabies

“Everything is ready for the upcoming physical ability tests and I prepared a provisional schedule. Of course, there is a plan B just in case but hopefully it won’t be needed.”

Merlin looked up from his computer screen with a smile and nodded.

They had been working together for almost two years now and the young redhead had learned a lot more from him during this time than she did back in university. But, of course, it didn’t change the fact that unlike her mentor she was a doctor which made these annual tests much more interesting for her. If there was one thing she missed from her short-lived career at the hospital it was the ER, the only place that was crazy enough to keep her adrenaline level high for the rest of her shift. This job was peaceful; there were only occasional wounds and smaller surgeries and luckily these injuries were barely lethal.

“Oh, I almost forgot to mention I will be away next week,” Madison informed him then said, “hopefully it won’t take longer than three or four days.”

“Family matters?”

Madison nodded. “Engagement party organized by James’ parents which means we will have to spend a few days there.”

After this short conversation not much had been said but it was never a problem between them. Silence made her productive and in their line of work even the smallest of mistakes could lead to the death of a Kingsman. Her attention was only drawn to her phone when it began to vibrate on her desk, telling her she received a text message. ‘ _Please, come and meet me in your office. I need your help. Galahad._ ’ That was all the text said but it was enough for the woman to excuse herself and leave.

This hadn’t been the first time Harry Hart asked for her help. Every once in a while he asked for her professional advice before presenting an evidence to either Merlin or Arthur and Madison was certain this case wasn’t any different. Weirdly enough she knocked on the door of her own office before stepping in and clearing her throat to get his attention.

Harry turned around with his hands still behind his back and greeted her with a small nod. “Morgana,” he said quietly, his glasses nowhere to be seen. It was a clear sign of a delicate matter he wanted to keep a secret for now.

“Galahad,” Madison replied with a smile. “What did you bring me today?”

While she opened up her private laptop they always used so there would be no trace of this conversation in the computer system of Kingsman, he crossed his arms and leaned against the nearby wall. “I took the copies of these files from the computer of a terrorist last night. I don’t really know what it means so I was wondering if you had an idea as of what this might be.”

Without saying a word she opened the documents he gave her on a USB drive and read some of the pages in complete and heavy silence. When she reached a certain page in one of the files, Madison raised her left hand to her mouth. “This is not good,” she whispered.

Harry walked over to her and took a look at the computer screen. “What is it?”

“It seems like whoever created these documents weaponized rabies and managed to turn it into an airborne disease,” Madison explained. “I have to read every single page to fully understand what we’re dealing with but it takes time and I could also use a sample to work on.”

“So it’s deadly,” he said while glancing down at her.

“It can be, yes. Look, the incubation period is usually a few months but I have no idea how much they changed the original virus. And this is where I have to ask you if there was a chance you got into contact with it.”

“I honestly don’t know.”

Madison closed her laptop and pointed at the chair across her desk. “Take off the jacket and roll up both sleeves of your shirt. I need a blood sample,” she instructed him, happy to see he immediately did as he was told. “There’s no standard test I could use but maybe this modified version can be spotted this way. Until then if you feel sick, if you have fever or if you feel anything out of normal, call me, okay?”

A small smile appeared on the spy’s lips as he glanced up at her. “Yes, doctor.”

“I’m serious, Galahad, because rabies can be deadly if it’s not treated properly.” She intentionally avoided eye contact with him and focused on taking that sample. He was one of those spies she really liked and knowing there was a chance he was infected by this particular virus made her really sad. “And,” she then continued, “according to the documents you showed me, they managed to turn it into a weapon.”

Silence fell between them and eventually Madison busied herself by pulling her red hair into a ponytail while Harry slowly unrolled the sleeves of his white shirt and put his jacket back on. She wished they had known for sure if he did or did not have the virus in his system. Thinking about this man experiencing the symptoms, especially the extreme ones was terrible, but the thought of all of them in the building being exposed to an airborne version was much scarier.

“You’re engaged,” he suddenly noted.

Turning around to look at him Madison asked, “What?” At first she had no idea what he meant by this statement but her gaze soon fell on her left hand with the engagement ring on it. Of course, he had probably noticed when she covered her mouth with that hand a few minutes before. “Oh, yes, James asked me two days ago.”

Harry nodded but didn’t say anything and she soon realized she hadn’t met this kind of silence before. Unlike most of the time they were alone in a room and no one said a word it almost felt awkward, as if there were hundreds or thousands of words he wanted to tell her. His brown eyes were fixed on the ring on her finger and Madison immediately covered it with her another hand once she noticed what he was looking at exactly.

“What is it?” she asked quietly when he had no other choice but to look away.

“Nothing,” Harry replied with an obviously fake smile. “Congratulations and thank you for your help, Morgana.”

“Galahad, wait!”

But it was too late. The door behind him closed and Madison leaned back in her chair. Harry Hart was a Kingsman therefore he was supposed to know perfectly well how to fake a smile without being busted. So why couldn’t he do it now? _Maybe_ , she wondered in herself, _he just regrets not having a wife waiting for him at home_.


	2. Sick leave

**Chapter 2** – _Sick leave_

 

The engagement party didn’t last as long as she expected it to which meant she only had to miss two days from work. It was quite relaxing to be away from her fiancé after those days they had spent with his parents. Her decision to leave the hospital and give up her career as a doctor to work in a tailor's shop was outrageous in the eyes of her future mother-in-law, and this feeling eventually infected James’ mind as well. One fight followed another and he never really gave up his plan to change her mind.

She soon realized, though, that something wasn’t quite right at the Kingsman headquarters and the answer came from Merlin when they moved on to the next name on the list for the physical ability test: Galahad was, for the first time in years, on a sick leave. Not the kind of rest you have after being injured during a mission, but the one where you can’t get out of bed due to some nasty disease that swept you off your feet.

Since they were officially in the middle of the flu season there were no questions about the nature of Harry’s illness, but Madison knew better than to fully believe it. She had told him to contact her the moment he felt sick but apparently her warning about the seriousness of the issue wasn’t convincing enough.

At the end of the day she picked up her things as she always did and called a cab to get to Harry’s place. Madison was biting her fingertips on the way without stopping, honestly worrying about the possibility that the man’s illness was related to his latest mission in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t just him who would be affected but every single person he had gotten into contact with including herself. Was it a selfish thought? Maybe, though she couldn’t care less.

The cab came to a halt on the street and after paying the cabbie she got out and walked up to the front door, already thinking about what say to him. Honestly, she just wanted to yell at him for acting like some reckless kid at his age but she knew from experience this was the last thing a person wanted to hear while being sick. Then there was another thing: as far as she knew he lived alone which meant he had probably no one to rely on. He was a good man and definitely deserved someone to look out for him.

Long seconds passed until he finally opened the door. Madison was surprised to see him being so pale and she could swear he was dehydrated. What was it with men turning into kids when they were sick? Sometimes she wondered how they could survive times like this on their own.

“Morgana? What are you doing here?”

“Oh, God, call me Madison. And rumor has it you need a doctor,” she added with a small smile that was mainly the result of the thought how different he looked without those glasses. “May I come in?”

Harry frowned at her. “Are you sure you want to risk catching it?”

“That’s what doctors do on a daily basis, Harry.” Finally he gave in and stepped aside, letting her in. “Thank you.” Once inside Madison took off her coat and hung it up, for some reason painfully aware of him looking at her back. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad, but it’s nothing serious, just the common flu. This is why I didn’t call you,” he explained and stopped for a moment when she turned around and faced him again. Letting out a sigh he led her to the living room they said, “This and the fact Merlin mentioned you left for your engagement party which I didn’t want to disturb with such trivial things.”

Madison laughed at him before her expression turned serious. “Trivial? You’re ill, it’s not trivial.”

“And there are thousands of other people suffering from the same disease,” he began to explain casually as he lied on the couch and pointed at a nearby armchair, “and the chances of dying from a little flu are really slim.”

Instead of sitting down she walked over to him and gently placed her hand on his forehead. He had a mild fever but it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. “Do I have to remind you of our previous conversation about the possibility of you being exposed to a modified version of rabies?” she asked even though she was sure it really was just a simple flu.

“You said the blood test showed nothing.”

“And I also said there is no standard blood test for this,” Madison pointed out.

Harry let out a groan and closed his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Hey, better be safe than sorry, right?” Before he could say anything she walked out into the kitchen and filled a larger glass with cold water. When Madison returned she gave it to him then sat on the edge of the wooden coffee table. “Drink this. Also even if it’s just a simple flu I wanted to see if you needed some help.”

His expression remained unreadable as he drank a little bit then looked at her. Every once in a while Madison had to admit she barely knew him and now she was almost a hundred percent sure he didn’t want her there. What if she was wrong when she first assumed they were friends? The look in his brown eyes rang an alarm in her mind, a voice warning her to stand up, tell him a simple “get well soon” and just leave.

“You don’t have to do this.” Harry’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts within a short moment. Did he really say this? Probably a strange look appeared on her face because he asked, “What is it?”

“I owe you one for saving me back then,” she replied quietly, playing with the ring on her left hand.

“I was doing my job, you don’t owe me anything.”

Madison’s gaze fell on him again. The tone of his voice was so cold she began to wonder what she did wrong. “Yes, but… I could have died in the middle of nowhere,” she eventually began to explain, hoping he would understand the reason of her actions. “So if I can help you when you’re sick, I’ll do it.” He finally smiled at her and she let out a relieved sigh. Of course it didn’t mean things weren’t awkward between anymore but the best she could do now was turning into a doctor. “Have you eaten anything today?”

An almost painful grimace appeared on his face before he said, “No, I didn’t risk it.”

“That wasn’t exactly wise. Okay, you finish that glass of water while I go get you something to eat.”

She stood up but couldn’t leave because Harry gently grabbed her wrist. Only a second passed before he took his hand away as if her skin burned his hand. “Even though I appreciate it, I can take care of myself, Madison. Go home to James.”

“No, I’ll stay until I’m sure you’re going to be alright on your own. James can wait,” she added with a smile and reached out to squeeze his hand. Their eyes short locked as he returned her smile but this moment was soon interrupting by her phone’s ringtone. “Speak of the devil. I’ll be right back.”

* * *

“I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to call you,” he heard Madison say into the phone as she left the room.

It was a lie. He knew it, she knew it, but that poor man on the other end of the line had no idea she intentionally kept the truth from him all along. As he reached for the glass of water she had placed on the coffee table right next to the spot she occupied not long ago, Harry thought about her unusual behavior. Something was wrong but he couldn’t find out what. Could it be the flu affecting his mind this way, slowing it down so much it seemed like he couldn’t even think anymore?

Minutes passed until he finally put the pieces together. Their life had always been about keeping secrets from everybody, not telling them about what they did for a living. These lies had a terrible effect on a Kingsman’s private life but it was a price they had to pay for the good cause. Sometimes, though, even he wondered if it was worth it. The struggle with keeping a normal everyday relationship was enough in itself to destroy it and after a couple of years he had given up all hope to have a family.

Harry gulped as he realized something else. He was, in fact, jealous of her relationship. Not only that, but he also had a problem forgetting how gentle she could be. Or was he imagining things? What if being so supportive and squeezing one’s hand as if saying “everything will okay” was something doctors’ like her always did? After all now he was a patient and probably nothing more for her.

“You’re hiding here,” he told her the moment she returned.

Madison satin the armchair and crossed her legs with a delicate smile on her lips. “What?”

“I know you mean well, but you only decided to stay here for a while because you don’t want to go home to your fiancé,” he explained hoarsely, massaging the back of his neck in hope the headache would stop.

“Harry, why wouldn’t I want to see him? I mean, we’ve just gotten engaged and I have plenty of time to feel that way.”

He sat up and folded his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what’s wrong but I know you and I know you lied to him on the phone. You hadn’t forgotten to call him, had you?” Madison bit her lower lip and looked down at her hands that was a universal sign of being caught on a lie. “What’s wrong?”

“Look, you’re my friend and all, but I don’t really feel like talking about it now.”

“Madison, in our line of work we have plenty of things we can’t talk about so whenever we have the chance to talk about our problems openly, we’d better take it,” he pointed out worriedly. This was one of the first things he had learned as a Kingsman and if he hadn’t kept himself to this rule he would have ended up in a psychiatric institute by now.

“Not today, okay? You’re sick and I only came back from a weekend in hell late last night. So yes, the least I need now is talking about is the long list of my insecurities when it comes to the idea of this marriage.”

She was almost crying by the time she finished the last sentence and if he weren’t so sick he would have hugged her. “We will talk about this,” he said in the end, glad to see a barely visible smile on her lips.

“Yes, we will, I promise. Until then if you need anything, just call me.”

“Thank you.” Watching as she stood up then walked towards the hall he wondered what else to say. Part of him wanted her to stay and keep him company, but another part knew she had to face her problems at home. But there really was something he wanted to tell her before she left. “Madison, wait,” he said then waited until she turned around. “Just one more thing. Do you remember anything from the conversation we had while waiting for the rescue team?”

The woman let out a humming sound before she said, “Yes, I remember most of it, I guess.”

“Good. Think about what I said, okay?”

“I have no idea what exactly are you talking about but hopefully I’ll figure it out. Goodnight, Harry,” she told him kindly, her head slightly tilted to the side as she was watching him.

“Goodnight.”

There had been several missions that went wrong in his career, he even saw a Kingsman die right before his eyes, but those two days he spent with Madison in a long abandoned small town far from London were one of the worst. A bullet hit her side and by the time he finally found her she was already thinking about suicide, believing she would die before someone came to her rescue anyway. It took him hours to convince her not to do such a terrible thing. This was the first time they had a proper conversation and he got to know her better than any other Kingsman.

Ever since then he had been trying to figure out what he felt for her. Were they simple colleagues? Or were they friends? And, of course, he simply couldn’t get rid of the idea of having romantic feelings for her due to a midlife crisis.


	3. Stay High

Harry had only returned from a mission when he noticed it. After their previous conversation he knew for sure Madison and her fiancé had serious problems that were mostly caused by her current job, but while he was away something undeniably changed. The doctor barely talked as she cleaned a wound he got as a memento of his previous adventure and no matter how much he tried to keep up a normal conversation, she always replied in surprisingly short and simple sentences. Later Merlin confirmed she had been in this mood for almost three days now but he didn’t know the reasons either.

After several failed attempts to get her talk Harry decided to do something he would have never done if it wasn’t absolutely necessary: he placed a small bug under the battery cover of her mobile phone since he knew perfectly well she never went anywhere without it. This way he knew where she was and had a chance to hear what she was doing there. During the time he hadn’t seen her Harry finally realized he did, in fact, like Madison more than a friend and keeping her from harm became more important than ever before.

He was surprised to find out she went to a popular but quite disreputable pub, a place he believed she would never visit without having at least one friend with her. But, according to what he heard, this time Madison was alone, talking to either the bartender or some half-drunk young man who tried to flirt with her. Half an hour of this surreal radio show was enough to make him close his laptop and leave his house to get her out of that place. It was utterly reckless from her and he wondered what could make her do something like this.

Inside the crowd was barely tolerable and it took him some time to find who he was looking for. Once he set her eyes on the redhead Harry let out a relieved sigh. At least she was sitting alone in the company of several glasses of alcohol, but it didn’t escape his attention that two empty glasses were left on the other side of her table. Was the person who kept her company only away from a few minutes or did they leave her for good? 

“Oh, look who’s here,” she said with a wide grin as he stopped in front of her, pointing at the empty chair across the table. As he sat down following her approval, Madison spoke up again. “Other damsels in distress get some old-fashioned knight in a shining armor while I’m lucky enough to have a Kingsman in a bulletproof suit.”

“What are you doing here, Madison?”

“Um, drinking, obviously. Can I order you one?”

Harry shook his head in response. “May I ask why you’re doing this?”

“Yes, you may ask. James and I broke up so I’m celebrating my newfound single status,” she explained then raised her glass and drank the rest of her drink.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no, actually I don’t mind. His mother talked him into giving me an ultimatum: if I really want to marry him, I either go back to work at the hospital or become a stay-at-home wife.” Maybe the problem was with him, but Harry couldn’t understand how anyone could say something to a person they supposedly loved enough to marry. Before he could say anything, though, the woman went on with a bitter smile on her lips. “You know what’s even worse? I told my parents about it and they agreed with him! They said working in a tailor’s shop is unworthy of our family’s name.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“Well, for starters I’ll find a distraction for tonight. Some guy from here, I don’t know which one yet. Then you know what I’ll do in the next few months or years? Marry some loser to annoy my parents. Who knows, maybe it will be this guy here, because from what I’ve learned about him, he’s an idiot.”

Turning his head to see who she was talking about Harry noticed a young man who kept staring at him an almost murderous look on his face. The chances of him being the previous owner of the empty glasses on his right were high but apparently Madison wasn’t fond of the man and his return either. With a nonchalant wave of her hand she dismissed him and once again her brown eyes fell on Harry.

“You’re drunk,” he stated flatly.

Madison nodded with a satisfied look on her face. “You bet I’m drunk.”

“Do you realize how childish you are? Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“No, I’ve already told you I want to go home with some guy because I don’t want to be alone.”

Now that he thought about it Harry couldn’t really blame her for this behavior. Her parents were on James’ side and there was a chance most of her friends were on good terms with him as well. What he had to do now was making her talk, finding out whether or not she really wanted to waste her time on a probably mentally challenged one-night stand. “Is this the only reason?” he asked carefully.

“Yes. I need someone to help me forget James for a couple of hours and going home to an empty flat alone would only make things worse.”

“Let’s go outside.” Madison shook her head and let out a sigh, obviously ready to tell him again that she wanted to stay. “Don’t worry,” he began with raised hands, “I only want you to have some fresh air and the music is way too loud here. I barely hear what you say.”

Reluctantly but she agreed to leave the pub for a few minutes, making him promise he wouldn’t try to stop her from doing what she wanted. Harry knew she was drunk and couldn’t really think straight anymore so he decided to let her believe everything would happen that way. His plan, though, was taking her home to safety, far from those testosterone-driven animals who were drinking inside.

A group of people were chatting and laughing loudly in front of the building, having a smoke while putting their weight from one foot to another to fight the cold air that filled their lungs with every breath they took. Gently taking her hand he navigated her around the corner, right to a place that couldn’t be seen from the pub and where they could be alone for a few minutes.

Madison let out a tired sigh as she pulled her coat tighter around her body and raised her eyebrows at Harry. “Look, there’s nothing you can say that would make me change my mind. I had quite a disastrous day so the least I deserve is having some fun. And you, Harry, are ruining it at the mo-”

It was one of those occasions that required Harry to improvise, come up with a plan, no matter how insane, to solve a sudden problem. And right now Madison was a problem he didn’t want to leave behind unsolved, knowing the situation would only get worse with time. She wanted to find a one-night stand and there he was, ready to offer her the chance to spend the night with someone she actually knew and trusted. But it was a lie, at least a part of it, because he had no intention to take advantage of her intoxicated state.

Kissing her was easy and Harry couldn’t deny he actually liked every second of it. Even after he pulled away, he could feel the remains of her dark pink lipstick on his lips.

“You kissed me,” she said quietly, her head slightly tilted to the side.

“I did.”

“Why?”

Harry smiled down at her and swept a strand of her hair out of her face. “Maybe I wanted to.”

“No, I don’t believe it,” Madison said with raised hands.

He acted without thinking when he kissed her again, this time putting his hand on the back of her neck to pull her closer. This time it wasn’t the part of his plan. It was just an instinct he followed, enjoying every single moment of it because he had no idea when he would have to chance to taste her lips again. At least now Madison could overcome her surprise and returned the kiss but it didn’t last long because she let him go and took a step back.

“I have no idea what’s your plan with this but at least you’re a good kisser,” she said with a laugh. “Really, I’m surprised because I didn’t know that.”

“There are many things you don’t know about me.”

Madison nodded in response. “That’s true. Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

Was she about to start some stupid game out in the cold? Whatever she wanted, Harry eventually decided to play along, knowing it wouldn’t hurt to answer a simple question like this. “I never got married.”

“Boring, I could get that information in a minute. After all you’re the one always talking about how a gentleman’s name only appears in the newspapers three times in his life.”

He was surprised she could remember this but it was true nonetheless. “Some people believe I was always an exceptional student,” Harry began his eyes never leaving hers, “but in reality I was terrible at math in primary school. And when I say terrible, I mean it.”

“Really?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Yes, my parents even took me to some kind of a specialist since they believed something was wrong with me.” A small smile crept on her lips as she ran a hand through her hair. “Alright, it’s your turn.”

“Let’s see,” she began slowly. “Apart from Merlin you’re literally the only Kingsman I actually like. I mean, really like.”

“What does that supposed to mean?”

Madison closed the distance between them once again and ran a finger down his chest through his coat. He was glad such a thick material was there as a barrier because he wasn’t sure he could have resisted the urge to give in to his needs otherwise. To him she was beautiful, the perfect woman who was intelligent and a talented doctor among many other things. He knew if he ever got married he would choose a woman like this, and there she was, standing right in front of him with this devilish little smile playing on her lips. 

“You made a very good first impression, but sadly you hated me back then,” she finally replied.

Did she seriously believe it was true? Or more importantly, what did he do to make her think he hated her? “I didn’t hate you,” Harry informed her as he took her hand and slowly began to massage it with his thumb.

“Oh, yes, you did.”

“Madison, let me assure you I know better how I felt. I never hated you.”

She let out a long sigh and bit her lower lip. “Based on what I’m doing here at the moment I bet you do now,” she said quietly and pulled her hand away.

“No, I still like you.”

“God, how do you do that? If I were you I would hate myself now. Are you some kind of a saint?”

Harry almost laughed at this absurd idea. With all the things he had been thinking about ever since he sat down across from her he was as far from being a saint as it was possible. “I’m not, believe me.” Since she didn’t say anything, he thought about what to do. Part of him wanted to finish this little game and go home, but another part wanted to use this opportunity to find out more about her. “It’s my turn now, isn’t it?” he asked in the end.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“I think it’s obvious that I like you.”

“Like me how?”

“Not necessarily as a friend,” Harry admitted.

“More?”

Laughing quietly he nodded and said, “Definitely more.”

“Oh, the great Galahad likes me more than a friend. What an honor. Let’s celebrate the news!” she practically yelled.

He was happy they were far from other people so they didn’t hear it, but this reaction truly surprised him. “You’ve just ruined a quite exceptional moment, darling,” he pointed out. It was true, because it was a nice change to talk honestly about his feelings, the ones he had only discovered not long ago.

“Sorry, but I still don’t believe it.”

“Trust me when I say it’s true.”

With a lovely smile on her lips Madison reached out and took both his hands, interweaving her fingers with his. He had no idea what she was planning to do but he let her without saying a word. Drunk, or rather tipsy Madison was a truly entertaining person. The only problem he had was fighting the need to kiss her again which was even harder now that he felt her warm skin against his.

“Alright, I believe it’s my turn again,” Madison began as she leaned closer. “I always thought you were only nice to me that night because you didn’t want to lose another member of the organization on the field. If I knew you didn’t hate me maybe I wouldn’t have gone on that third date with James. Who knows, maybe things would be much different now.”

Things could be different, yes. Whatever he had done wrong was probably the reason she didn’t try to get his attention. All this time they had been working together, he often asked for her help off the record but she never told him about this, not even after they finally became friends.

The conclusion? It was all his fault. 


	4. And I run, run, run…

It wasn't her bedroom.

This was the first thing Madison realized only seconds after she opened her eyes in the morning. Her head ached when she moved, and she remembered absolutely nothing from the previous night. At least she wasn't naked which she considered a good sign. While looking for her phone in the clutch that was left on the nightstand, she tried to remember what had happened the night before. She went to a pub, had a few drinks with a guy and that was all she could recall from the evening.

Letting out a sigh she gave in and walked out of the room, silently making her way downstairs. Deep inside she hoped she could leave unnoticed, embarrassed by the idea of facing whoever she had come home with.

"Good morning, Madison," she heard a strangely familiar voice from behind just before she could put her hand on the doorknob. It came as quite a shock that the mysterious person was none other than Harry Hart. "I thought you would be sleeping longer."

Madison turned around, cursing in her mind that she had gotten herself into such a ridiculous situation. He seemed to be completely at ease as he signaled her with a wave of his hand and went to the dining room - but maybe it was the effect of being home. And this was when Madison realized why she couldn't recognize her current environment: this was the very first time she set foot in his house. After mumbling a barely audible 'good morning', she asked, "Harry, did we…?"

"Don't worry, nothing happened," he assured her with an understanding smile. "I spent the night in my own bedroom."

"Thank God," Madison said as she sat down on a chair in the dining room. Upon seeing the look on his face, she quickly understood how awfully rude she had been. "I mean… Not like… This is terribly awkward and embarrassing."

For now the best tactic to follow was keeping a safe distance and avoiding every topic that could drive their conversation to highly sensitive topics. "Believe me, it's not. You had a rough day yesterday," he said, hoping she would leave it for the rest of the morning.

"And the result is an even worse hangover." Her lips turned into a smile that hadn't faded right away. As she drew circles on the table with her finger Madison cleared her throat and asked, "Can you do me a favor, Harry?" Without thinking too much about it, he nodded. "Please, I'm begging you to take this sweater off before I throw up. I mean, no offense, but it's truly disgusting, especially in this color. You look like my grandfather."

Harry glanced down at his dark mustard colored sweater for a moment. "Is it really that bad?" he asked, mostly from himself since he actually liked this particular piece of clothing.

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to be sorry, Madison," Harry assured him with a smile as he stood up and went to the kitchen. "I thought you had known by now that your honesty is one of the things I really like about you."

The more time she spent in his apartment awake the weird the situation became. Madison didn't really know why she felt this way, though, because she had always considered Harry a good friend of hers. But things had probably changed after he saw her wasted, maybe even behaving like some stupid kid because of the end of her engagement. But now that she gave it a thought she wondered if it was for the best? Not Harry seeing her that way, of course, but breaking up with James.

"Tea?"

Looking up she noticed Harry looking at her. "Yes, thank you," she replied.

"I assume you wouldn't like some breakfast."

"Definitely not," Madison assured him. "I'll just finish my tea and go home. I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Nonsense; you can stay as long as you want to."

Sitting down after carefully placing the cup in front of her, Harry began to wonder how to ask her about the previous night. Should he be straightforward or talk about something else first, barely mentioning what had happened in the pub? Maybe asking her directly would be suspicious but otherwise there was a great chance she wouldn't tell him what he really wanted to hear.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

"I remember you arriving," she began, pointing at him with the small spoon she had received with the cup, "but everything else is pretty vague."

Harry nodded then took a sip of his tea. "That's good," he noted quietly without looking at her.

But as it turned out, avoiding her gaze was the worst plan of all. Madison suddenly became suspicious, carefully watching him as she took a sip of tea herself. He could tell she wanted to say something and only mere seconds later she did, indeed, voice the question that was probably ruling all her thoughts at the moment. "What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"No, no, no, I swear I heard you say that's good. Why did you say that?" Pushing away her barely touched cup of tea, Madison folded her hands on top of the table. "Harry, please. I want to know what happened last night."

Part of Harry now wished he hadn't stopped her the night before. Another part only regretted bringing Madison to his home instead taking her to her own. But he made the wrong choice and now it was time to face the consequences. "Nothing happened, don't worry."

"I don't believe you. Did I do something stupid? I definitely did something stupid."

"Madison, relax," he tried to calm her down but all his efforts seemed to be futile.

The young woman let out a painfully desperate laugh as she ran a hand through her hair. "It's easy for you to say this since it wasn't you who did... whatever I did."

"It wasn't you, it was me." When he saw the confused look on her face, Harry let out a sigh and said, "I told you something I shouldn't have."

"What was it?"

Where should he even begin? Did she want to know the whole story or was she simply interested in what he said? In the end Harry decided to give her enough information so she could get the whole picture and understand why he had admitted what he did. "At one point you told me you had always believed I hated you in the beginning. You have to know that I didn't. I never hated you and I don't think I ever will," he told her, for a very short moment even thinking about reaching across the table to squeeze her hand. But he knew better than to try such a scandalous move in such a delicate situation. "Eventually I told you I liked you more than just a friend."

Madison froze and had no idea how to react. Sitting in his dining room became more awkward than before. He was a colleague, a friend, someone she had always trusted, but knowing he probably had romantic feelings for her changed everything. It wasn't his age; it was more about the fact they were working together and she had never looked at him this way. She had just broken up with her fiancé and finding out the only person she believed she could rely on in this situation loved her made her life more complicated that it had been before.

As selfish as it was, Madison knew she needed some people to talk to, people who knew about Kingsman and what this secret could do to a member's personal life. Merlin was always there to help, of course, but they usually worked together on a daily basis and she didn't want to discuss such personal matter with him. Meanwhile Harry was someone who had only showed up every once in a while, mostly due to official matters, therefore talking to him about these things and asking for his advice seemed to be the logical decision to make.

"Say something, Madison," Harry said softly, successfully averting her thoughts.

"I-I think I should go home now."

"Trust me, I know you've just broken off your engagement with James therefore I definitely don't expect you to feel the same way. And I would never force you to return whatever feelings I have."

Harry could do nothing more but watch her stand up and grabbing her purse with shaking hands. "Thank you for helping me last night," she mumbled without looking at him.

"Please don't change the topic; we need to talk about this. I made a mistake by telling you, I know, but I don't want this to change things between us."

Finally she stopped and turned to look at him. "I'm sorry but I could never do this," she began, quickly realizing her mistake. "I mean, it's not that I don't like you, Harry, because I do, and sometimes I wished James would be as understanding and supportive as you are, but right now I don't know anything and I need to keep my life as simple as possible. I'll turn thirty-three this year yet I have no idea what to do with myself. Everyone keeps telling me to go back to the hospital where, according to them, I belong and the more I think about it the more I agree with them."

"They are all wrong because you're one of us now," Harry told her seriously without even thinking about it.

"Am I really? I don't really feel this way to be honest."

"Don't let them tell you what to do." He watched as she leaned her shoulder against the doorframe then continued. "If you want to stay with us then stay, but if you feel like going back to your old life we won't stop you."

"What do you think I should do?"

"Maybe you should talk to Merlin about this. The two of you work together most of the time and I believe you know I would want you to stay."

Madison nodded but had no idea what to say. He was right and in this matter she would trust Merlin without question. Maybe going back to the hospital would be the best decision to make, especially now that she knew certain things about Harry. Distance was always a good solution, and so was avoiding the problem until it went away eventually. "I really should go now," she said. "Thank you for everything."

Just when she finished the sentence Harry stood up and slowly walked over to her. "You're welcome. If you need anything, just call."

She left but decided to take a walk before hailing a cab for the way home. The chilly air filled her lungs with every breath she took and her mind became clearer by every minute. For now she shouldn't think about going back to the hospital. As Madison watched a young couple walking on the sidewalk across the street she realized she had wasted the best years of her life on the relationship with James, never really noticing his annoyance whenever it came to her job. But in retrospect it was so obvious she couldn't help but curse under her breath to release some stress.

And what should she do with Harry? Madison didn't want to lose one of her best friends as well but, knowing what she did, being around him wouldn't be the same in the future. Letting out a sigh she sat down on a bench at a playground and watched the kids chasing each other and playing surprisingly nicely. Being a child is way easier, free of responsibilities and tough decisions.

Once she closed her eyes for a second, almost drifting off to sleep, Madison remembered something from the night before.

"God damn it," Madison told herself half an hour later while she waited for the front door to open. Once Harry's face appeared, she took a deep breath then said, "You kissed me last night, twice if I remember correctly."

"I did, but-"

She immediately put up a hand to stop him. "No, please, don't interrupt me. You kissed me and I can vaguely recall liking it. I mean, really liking it, and this whole thing got me thinking. What exactly did I tell you?"

"It doesn't matter, Madison. Go home and get some sleep."

"I'm not going anywhere until you answer my question. Why did I tell you after you told me you liked me more than a friend?"

"You know about me kissing you twice but can't remember what you told me?" Since she didn't seem to be in the mood to appreciate his effort to make a small joke about her previous intoxicated state, Harry gave in. "Fine, you said something about that third date with James. That if you'd known I didn't hate you, you wouldn't have gone on that date with him and maybe things could be different now." For his biggest surprise she cursed and walked away, barely building a small distance between them as she tuzzled her long hair. "So it's true?"

Madison didn't reply right away. He could tell she was embarrassed, confused or maybe both, and knew perfectly well giving her some time and space would make her talk sooner or later. After what he had gone through only a few minutes before he knew it wasn't easy to talk about a topic you found quite uncomfortable. And for her this was obviously one those topics.

"It is. And this is the reason why I came back. I have no idea what will happen between James and me after this break-up thing but if we don't get back together… I don't know, maybe after a while I'll be ready to go on a date or… something.

"Are you talking about the two of us?"

"Yes, I am," she replied shyly. "I'll really go home now but I wanted you to know this."

And with this she was gone, this time for real.


	5. Stalker

The day that followed their last conversation in his home came with an unpleasant surprise for Harry. In the afternoon, when he decided to give her a visit and see how she was doing, he only found a half empty office that she’d clearly left in a hurry. According to Merlin, it happened the previous night when she resigned and said her goodbyes. Apparently she thought of almost everyone except him.

Even though he couldn’t really blame her for this decision, he began to wonder if she left because of him as he sat in her chair behind the desk. Maybe it was him who chased her away and at the thought made him feel guilty since she and Merlin used to work together in perfect sync.

Harry briefly thought of giving her a visit, but his memory quickly reminded him of her need for a break. Who knew, maybe she only left to clear her head and it was related more to her broken off engagement and ex-fiancé than him. At least he hoped that was the case and after a few weeks she would eventually return or contact him. He tried to comfort himself with this thought as he left and went home to his empty house.

But Madison didn’t return to Kingsman and didn’t contact him in the following months. The only way Harry could get information about her was becoming sort of a stalker who used the organization’s equipment and his connections for the task. He knew it wasn’t the most suitable method for a gentleman but when it came to her he was willing to put his pride aside. 

Only two weeks after leaving them, Madison returned to the hospital she'd worked in before joining Kingsman. As time passed, Harry even thought of visiting her there, maybe as a patient with a self-inflicted wound. But was he really willing to hurt himself only to meet the woman?

The short answer was yes, and he knew this was the very reason why he could easily call himself a stalker. He was like some desperate teenager seeking for the attention of the girl they liked. But Madison needed time, he accepted and respected that, though a part of him simply couldn't let go of her and the thought she might had felt the same way about him.

About two months later things changed quite radically when she decided to move to Canada for a few months. Keeping an eye on her became extremely hard if not impossible and it made him upset. He couldn’t simply walk around the hospital or her home only to catch a glimpse of her and slowly but surely he began to act like he was some addict facing withdrawal.

This is why Harry was shocked when he entered the tailor shop one day only to find Madison sitting on one of the couches, reading a book while she waited. He had no idea why she was there but--as ridiculous as it sounds in the case of a man his age--it felt like his heart had just skipped a beat. He wasn't expecting to meet her here from all places so when she looked up and the corners of her lips curled into a small smile, he immediately knew she was there to meet him.

"Madison, it's been a while," he said after clearing his throat. "When was the last time we met? Seven or eight months ago?"

"Nine," she corrected him, but little did she know that Harry knew the answer perfectly well. "I've just returned from Canada and I thought I should jump in and say hi."

“It’s a nice surprise,” he admitted with a smile. “Are you coming back to us?”

The woman immediately shook her head before standing up and walking closer to him. “I mean, I considered it, of course, but I’m not sure if it would be a good idea.”

“Merlin misses you.” Madison gave him a skeptical look with her head tilted to the side. “I’m serious; he could use your help.”

“Are you sure it’s only Merlin missing me?”

Harry took a look around as if he was afraid someone else would hear this conversation, but didn’t answer in the end.

Things in here weren’t supposed to get too personal but when it came to her he just couldn’t resist the urge to keep their relationship simply professional. It had to be personal. He wanted it to be personal. Now that she was back to London he felt like there was hope again, and he also hoped during those nine months Melody had time to think about what she wanted.

“We all missed you.” Her eyebrows slightly rose before she shook her head like a parent who’d just caught their child lying about something. “Alright, _I_ missed you.”

“I missed you too, Harry," she replied, her voice soft and sincere which immediately elevated his mood.

She'd missed him in the time she spent away and he couldn't be happier about it, but he knew he had to hide his emotions on the surface. To be perfectly honest, he was almost embarrassed by his recent feelings because he was a Kingsman and as such couldn't act like some lovesick puppy.

Silence fell between them and it was only broken briefly when another agent entered and they both greeted him. Then silence came again and Harry was aware of the fact it was unusually awkward for them. He wondered if she only came here to meet him specifically, or if she came to meet someone else. "Would you like to have lunch with me?" he asked, immediately regretting not saying dinner instead.

"Actually, I'm having lunch with Merlin, that's why I'm here," she replied after briefly biting on her lower lip.

"Oh, I see."

That answered some of the questions that were already forming in his mind regarding her presence in the tailor shop. It hurt him a little to know she'd told Merlin about her return sooner than him, especially knowing there was a chance they wouldn't even meet now. What only made things worse was the fact he was a spy and had no idea she was back to London. He should've known about these things, bit clearly he had become sloppy after she left the country and moved overseas.

Harry raised his hand to glance at his watch, hoping this way he could hide his disappointment. But his move was proven to be way too transparent because she suddenly said, "How about lunch tomorrow?"

A small, barely visible smile crept on his lips as he looked at her. "Lunch sounds great."

Though she opened her mouth to say something to Harry, someone interjected before she could say anything. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting," Merlin told the woman as he walked over to them.

“I’m unemployed at the moment so I have more than enough free time these days,” the woman replied with a short laugh.

Did this mean she wasn’t planning to go back to the hospital? If that’s the case, he thought, she could easily return to Kingsman and help them once again. Who knew, maybe this was the reason why her old colleague had lunch with her, to convince Madison to come back to them. But if that was true it meant Merlin had known of her return before he did and this idea was something he didn’t really like.

Swallowing his hurt ego, Harry said his goodbyes and watched the two leave the building before finally turning around and heading to the dressing room on the right. He had paperwork to take care of, a task most agents despised while he personally liked the idea of doing this. Reliving the memories of the mission wasn’t always good, he was well aware of that, but sitting down and writing in peace was like heaven every now and then. And this day wasn’t any different because his mind kept returning to Madison.

An hour or so later Harry looked up from the screen of her laptop when someone knocked on the heavy wooden door of the meeting room he occupied until he finished the report. Merlin apparently returned and now stood on the hallway with a knowing smile on his face, waiting to be invited in.

“What can I help you with?” he asked the man once he sat down next to him.

“She doesn’t know if she’d like to come back to us.” Harry tried to keep a neutral expression on his face, hoping it wouldn’t give away much about the disappointment he felt upon hearing this. “But she will think about it,” he added after a few moments of silence.

Harry wondered why Merlin came to him to tell about this but he hesitated to ask. If he did, the man would know he was maybe a bit too interested in how their lunch went. On the other hand, there was a chance he wouldn’t tell him more about Madison and he really wanted to hear how she was. Did she enjoy her time in Canada? Was she planning to work in the hospital again? Was she seeing someone?

“Won’t you ask me why I’m telling you all this now?” Merlin suddenly asked.

With a smile on his lips, Harry rolled his eyes but repeated his question nonetheless. “Why are you telling me all this now?”

The other man took his time with the answer and he had a bad feeling about his silence and the look in his eyes. Whatever he was about to say was probably going to turn the conversation into some gossip session, one he didn’t want anyone to know about since he put away his glasses and waited for him to do the same. Once he was done, Merlin began his reply.

“I have a strong feeling that there is something going on between the two of you.” He paused and waited, but once he realized Harry wouldn’t say anything, he went on. “You see, in the beginning I think she was about to say she would like to return and work with us--with me--but the moment I mentioned that the two of you were on really good terms before she’d left Madison changed her mind. Is she, by any chance, avoiding you?”

“Well, considering I’m going to have lunch with her tomorrow, I assume the answer is no.”

“And what if she only agreed to have lunch with you once only to make sure you don’t assume she’s generally avoiding you?”

Merlin was right, he couldn’t be sure about this one, but he truly hoped it wasn’t the case because he wanted to spend more time with Madison as he’d used to before she left. He didn’t want to rush a relationship; he only wanted to be friends with her so they could get to know each other better. Also it was her who mentioned that she liked him more than a simple friend too.

“Look, I want to give you a piece of advice,” Merlin spoke up, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. “I don’t know what happened and honestly, it’s none of my business. But Madison is an exceptional doctor and we could use her help here, which means the two of you should sort things out and you should ask her to come back as well. Maybe she’ll listen to you--if you’re not the reason why she said no to me today, that is.”

“Did she say anything about me?”

“No, she didn’t,” came his short response.

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose as he thought about this. It was good, at least Merlin had no idea what’d happened between the two of them before she left.


End file.
